Worship

When I googled (I think ¨google¨ is considered a verb now) an online dictionary and typed in ¨worship¨, the first definition that it gave me was ¨reverent honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.¨ A very wide and inclusive definition. Growing up in the Mennonite church I have worshiped the same way practically every Sunday for the entirety of my life. I am comfortable and accustomed to my style of worship. I enjoy having a bulletin and singing hymns.

I am learning that my style of worship was narrow. I have always known that various churches and congregations greatly differ in the way that they worship and conduct their services. What I did not know was how difficult it would be to make a connection with God in a different environment.

My church, ¨La Amistad¨, which means (Friendship) is only about a minute walk from my house. It is a daughter church to the larger German Mennonite church named ¨Concordia.¨ The weekends are always busy with youth group Saturday evening, small group Sunday morning and the worship service Sunday night. For the size of the church the number of youth that participate in the youth group is outstanding. Sometimes Saturday nights an upward of forty people between the ages of 15 and about 21 show up for several hours of worship.

The challenging time for me is worship. At times, definitely not every meeting, but every now and then the mood becomes very… desperate. Thunderous music plays, the pastor speaks very loudly, often repeats a sentence or a word over and over, and people are in every which position. There is yelling, wailing and uncontrollable sobbing. It´s different.

Even though I have been attending this church for almost five months, I´m not exactly sure what to think. The first few times I participated in one of these services was rather intimidating and scary (it still is a little) because I had never been in such a ¨heavy¨ worship. This is never how I worshipped at home or connected with God. This is my problem, I don’t feel like I can connect with God very well in this atmosphere. I have also thought that maybe these kids around me know something that I don’t know; why cant I scream for God?

As time has passed I have become more accustomed to the environment and have become more comfortable. With the increased security that I feel I think my ability to worship in other capacities has expanded. I still have roughly another five months to worship God in this church, I´m hoping to be able to find Him in a different setting because I am pretty sure God doesn’t just come to Leetonia Mennonite MYF worship. The point isn’t in how I worship, the point is where my heart is and what my heart is doing during worship. I need to learn to be able to Love God with all I am in different ways.

This is very much a learning process and I am thankful for the way I am being challenged. It will be interesting to see where God leads my thoughts and my heart in the next few months. Maybe I really do need to be more desperate for God, maybe my faith really needs to be expanded... I may just end up the most radical worshipper that Leetonia Mennonite has ever seen!

How exciting discovering God can be!! And scary...